GF Fried Clams at Woodman’s

Well over a week ago I reported that I was off to Woodman’s in Essex MA to get some GlutenFree Fried Clams. Well, I did and it was down-right proper and little bit surreal. No wait, it was very surreal because this is a place with lines out the door. Huge volume tourist destination (birthplace of the fried clam, gift shop and everything) that makes GF food, fried. Separate fry station, I am told.

At this point I should explain my restaurant reviewing procedure. It goes like this:

  1. Go to place that serves the GF
  2. Eat the stuff
  3. Try and snap a few pictures without it getting in the way of the eatin’
  4. Pay close attention to the eating experience
  5. Pay close attention to the digestion experience
  6. Wait a few days to make certain, that I at least feel like I did not get exposed to any noticeable Gluten whilst eatin’
  7. Publish scientific peer reviewed article
  8. Await Nobel for GF exploration

So, as I was saying, surreal experience because the place seems like it is a high-volume restaurant spot and it is but they were able to take my GF order as if it was normal for them, and it must be if the staff is so knowledgeable about the GF.

The plate of clams that was delivered to me in its own cardboard box (all the better to segregate the GF and catch the overflow of food) looked like the real thing and it certainly tasted like I remember fried clams tasting the last time I ate them which had to have been over twelve long years ago. But these fried clams were actually quite deceptive to my eyes. They tasted truly great. They felt exceptionally light and greaseless but man-o-man did they do wonderful stuff to my tummy like no other food has in a very long time. I think it was that totally full with fried food satiation that only fried seafood can….unload upon the second brain that I am trying to explain here. Powerful good. If you focus on my eyes in the photo you will see a certain concentrated gastronomic wonder and fear, there. Like, what did I just eat and will I be very ill soon?

Here is the cautionary portion of this clamtale. Perhaps you should wait and maybe even forgo the wonderful ice cream that they have attached to the Woodman’s gift store. It is very good maybe even GF (I’m not gettin’ into GF ice cream physics at this point) but it is also super rich ice cream. The combination of the fried plate of food and the true buttermilk fat ice cream put me over the top and made me fill so beyond full that I was concerned that I would need to go to the hospital or vomitorium by the time I got home a couple of hours later. Happy but full beyond description and advice.

I’m going back to Woodman’s soon. Very soon. Exit, brain-right.

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