SillyCeliactics_5: GlutenFreeFriendsTasteGood

“Oh! I didn’t know we have gluten free pizza here,” the teenager says as she rings up the George’s pizza.

“Yup,” he says watching the six dollar 8″ pie ring up on the register screen.

“I have a few friends who are Gluten Free….I mean they try and….Celiac’s. They are Celiacs….I don’t know why I just called them Gluten Free. Gluten Free. Celiac,” she says as she processes the card.

“They try and be Gluten Free,” he says in agreement and understanding whilst thinking maybe she would like to eat her delicious Gluten Free friends.

“Yah, that’s right….they are Celiac…tic. Celiac Disease.”

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“Yah, so it turns out that a lot of everyday food like bread, pasta, cookies, pizza, salad dressings – I shouldn’t be eatin’ ”

“Oh, well when you were a baby the only thing you could eat was rice.”

“What! Why didn’t you ever tell me that before?”

“Well you seemed to grow out of it.”

“Oh, well it seems I have grown back into it. Bigtime”

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“So, what would you like to eat….ghee, your on this weird diet and we haven’t seen you in a while….”

“What Weird Diet. How weird can it be, I have been eating GlutenFree, this way, for over ten years. It’s not really a “diet” it is a medically prescribed way of eating. It’s what I have to do, really.”

“Oh. Well. What would you like then?”

“Water.”

All “SillyCeliactics” are recordings of actual conversations entertained by Federation Members. The names and locations have been changed or altered to protect the innocents…

SillyCeliactics_2: Pasta Is Made of Pasta

“You can have pasta right? It doesn’t have any meat,” accompanied by a genuinely hopeful look of confusion.

“No, I’m sorry I can’t eat most pasta, it is pretty much made up entirely of wheat which has all the gluten you could hope to put into a grain,” accompanied by a sorrowful look of….sorrow.

“Oh. It has wheat? Pasta? I thought pasta was made of pasta?” very confused look now.

“I know, I thought pasta was made of pasta too before I realized the celiac disease thing….but it isn’t, pasta is definitely made from wheat which contains gluten,” I explain most clearly.

“Yah, but the ingredients say that it is made just with durum which is what all pasta is made of, the best pasta anyway,” she explains convincingly.

“Oh, yah. It is kinda confusing but durum is actually a type of wheat. Now, you’re right it is a very nice type of wheat, but it’s wheat,” I quietly whisper as I look around to see if anyone else is following this top secret conversation.

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All “SillyCeliactics” are recordings of actual conversations entertained by Federation Members. The names and locations have been changed or altered to protect the innocents…

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“I’d get you some food….but you’re on that stupid diet,” accompanied by a look of disgust and confusion.

“It’s not a stupid diet— it’s a disease. If I don’t eat right, I get sick…. Now that would be stupid.” Accompanied by a look of Glufreef (Gluten-Free fatigue and grief born of explaining celiac reality, yet again, to someone who has heard the facts many times before).

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All “SillyCeliactics” are recordings of actual conversations entertained by Federation Members. The names and locations have been changed or altered to protect the innocents…